I got to babysit a 7 week old female golden retriever puppy named Bella last Saturday while her new “mother” went to a funeral. I would give the name Bella a “C” for originality but she is pretty darn beautiful. Of course I think all babies and little puppies are extremely cute but every female baby, dog, cat or hamster can’t run around with the name Bella. It would be like living in a house with George Foreman and all his children also named George.
So, my neighbor shows up at my door promptly at noon for Bella’s 5 hour visit on Saturday holding Bella wearing a rhinestone studded pink collar and matching leash. The puppy, not the neighbor. Get your mind out of the gutter. I let them both into my kitchen.
My neighbor then introduces me to this puppy by saying, “Bella, this is your grandpa and he is going to take care of you for a while.” And the grandpa experience began. I just smiled at her and the puppy. It weirded me out that she was talking to the 7 week old puppy (and not me) in the same baby voice that a new mom talks to her baby like they understand or they are talking the same language. And how did I become “grandpa” to a puppy who’s “mom” is barely a passing acquaintance neighbor that is 15 years older than me? Couldn’t I be like the cool uncle or even nephew in this scenario? How about friend, friend would have been cool But I digress…
My neighbor swears the 7 week old puppy already knows her name. The puppy reacts to all noises the same. Interested but with a “just happy to be here” look. I just smile and nod.
My neighbor then proceeds to make another trip to her car. Remember this puppy is supposed to stay with me for 5 hours or less. I get a 15 lb. bag of puppy food handed to me. I smile and nod. This puppy food bag is top of the line, probably more per pound than hamburger and the bag is three times bigger than the puppy. I wonder if the puppy would be open to sharing… My neighbor then hands me a bag with (no exaggeration) 5 puppy chew toys that had to all told cost over $80. I smile and nod. It turns out later on I realized you couldn’t pay this puppy $80 to even look sideways at these stupid chew toys. I then get handed a ziploc baggy with 3 tiny puppy treats in them. I nod and really smile. Why? It is funny that the ziploc bag probably costs more than the 3 treats she placed in it. And… My neighbor doesn’t know that Drew had gone out and gotten a 3 lb. bag of soft, meat flavored puppy treats for Bella.
My neighbor then proceeds to take off Bella’s pink rhinestone encrusted leash that she has been chewing on and tells me, “Bella is THIS close to being potty trained and needs to go out every 2 hours to do her business.” She has had this extremely young puppy a couple of days. She is as much trained on a leash as she has been trained to go potty outside. I look past my neighbor to the open door where I see outside a temp around 15 degrees in a driving snow storm with snow accumulation over the puppies head already. I imagine dragging this puppy on a leash she is not trained on through snow taller than her and cold that a puppy shouldn’t be in. I look at the two new rolls of paper towels I put on the kitchen counter. I look back to my neighbor, smile and nod.
My neighbor then makes sure I have her cell number and Bella’s vet number. I put on an increasingly plastic face (which I hope resembles a smile) and nod. I almost push her out the door so she won’t be late.
Within the first half hour I remembered puppies, like babies will stick anything in their mouth. The puppy initially had to check out the place. Bread tie on the floor, “I wonder what that tastes like?” Pizza advert on the floor, “yum!” Bella acted like she bought a winning lottery ticket, found the gold mine of Eldorado and was introduced to her one true love when she came across Drew’s work boots (He works in a meat processing facility making hamburger). Those boots had to not only be placed out of reach but relocated out of sight (or smell). After she got the lay of the land (the first floor in my house), I tried to entertain her with her many expensive chew toys. The interest was underwhelming however she was fascinated with something else. Like babies first Christmas, babies are much more interested in the wrapping or the stupid bows or the box and not the expensive gifts inside. I know bows are cute, not stupid. But, when your child tries to put a small bow in their mouth and surely choke on it a cute bow becomes a stupid bow. Anyway, no interest in the chew toys. She was, however, very interested in my hand. At this point I started thinking that a more appropriate name for Bella would be “El Diablo”. Don’t judge, I used an inside voice. I didn’t actually call her “El Diablo”. Come to think of it, she would have probably responded to “El Diablo” just like Bella. But I thought ironic humor would be lost on a 7 week old puppy.
And then I remembered something else about puppies. Besides eating, drinking pooping or peeing, they really only have three states. Off (passed out), Almost On (laying down chewing on my hand) or On (playing tug of war with my hand throwing her head back and forth). And a few hours passed.
As time got close to giving Bella back to her “mom”, I completed the grandpa experience by running Bella around the house to get her excited, filling her full of puppy treats and then handing her off to her “mother”. Of course, with a smile and a nod! And then my neighbor walked of with El Diablo. I mean Bella.
I may need to let my hand heal fully before puppy sitting again, but it was a fun play date.
Random Thoughts 